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If you are close to someone suffering from addiction, you will be suffering too.
It’s normal for parents, partners, siblings and friends to feel confused, angry and lost due to the effects of addiction. If this is you, there is help available.  The more support and understanding family and friends receive around addiction, the better chance of recovery for everyone.

It’s important to acknowledge these 3 basic truths about addiction in others:

You didn’t cause it.

You can’t control it.

You can’t cure it.

However, 

You can learn to take care of yourself 

You can learn to communicate your feelings

You can learn to make healthy choices for yourself


Where addiction is the problem, by becoming more aware of the beliefs and experiences that influence your own behaviour, you can begin to find new, healthier ways of managing, approaching and relating with yourself, your loved one, and other family members and friends. 

Our dedicated Family Programme helps addiction to be understood as an illness and enables living in the solution rather than existing with the problem.    

We run a 9-week course and other workshops at our Family office as well as a weekly support group.

To find out more:  Call: +44 (0) 1534 769837 | Email: info@silkworthlodge.co.uk   Silkworth Family Programme, 2nd Floor, Lincoln Chambers, 31 Broad Street, St Helier, Jersey, JE2 3RR.


An honest look at addiction...

Addiction is recognised today as a family illness, partly due to the fact that family members are so deeply affected by alcoholism and drug dependency. Those closest to the addict - primarily family, generally suffer and often become as emotionally distressed as the addict themselves.

When someone is chemically dependant, whether it is drugs or alcohol, they will dramatically affect the lives of at least 5 other people. This could include family, friends or colleagues. Recognising and admitting that a loved one or friend is chemically dependant is difficult, but recognising and admitting that the addiction is affecting you is even more difficult. The effect on those surrounding the alcoholic/addict can be extremely negative and can often lead to stress and anxiety related illnesses. It can also lead to developing negative coping strategies for those close to the dependant and so they too need help in dealing with the problem.

Am I one of those affected?

It is almost impossible for those living around an active addict not to be drawn into the sickness. You are bound to become anxious, fearful, develop feelings of low self worth, anger and resentment. You are likely to develop your own unhealthy emotional patterns in connection with the other's addiction and you too need help in dealing with the problem. 

If any of these questions feel true for you, then it is possible you are affected by someone else's addiction:

  • Do you worry about how much this person drinks or uses drugs?
  • Have you lied to cover up for the person?
  • Have you been hurt or embarrassed by the person's behaviour?
  • Are you angry, confused or depressed because of the person's behaviour?
  • Is the person experiencing financial or health problems because of drinking or using drugs?
  • Has this person ever been in trouble with the law due to their drinking or drug use?

As family members and friends, you cannot fix the chemically dependent person. You need to allow the addict the dignity to recover at their own pace however frustrating and difficult this may be.  By focusing on your own behaviour towards the situation, you can begin to make positive, healthy changes for yourself and the addict. There is hope for a new beginning for all involved. 

A future with hope...

It’s important to acknowledge these 3 basic truths about addiction in others: 

You didn’t cause it.

You can’t control it.

You can’t cure it.

However, 

You can learn to take care of yourself 

You can learn to communicate your feelings

You can learn to make healthy choices for yourself

Families and friends need healthy ways to deal with the chaos and confusion of living with an addicted loved one. Our dedicated Family Programme is available to anyone living with an addicted loved one, whether they are receiving treatment or not. It helps educate you on addiction, gives you tools to manage yourself in a healthy, empowered way, and gives hope for a better future.

Read more articles about family and addiction here >

Looking back, going into rehabilitation was one of the most unnerving but best decisions I have ever made. I will be forever grateful to Silkworth as I now have my life back and most of all, the love of rny family, which is my most valued possession.

Next Steps

Anyone who believes they may have a dependency to alcohol or drugs can ask for a free consultation with a counsellor.

Contact us